The big one - 2020 Worlds!

It is with mixed feelings that I walk away from the 2020 World Championships. To give some perspective, this was the final and most heavily weighted event of our Olympic Trials. A top 6 result would secure objective qualification for Tokyo 2020. In some ways this seemed like a tall order, my previous best Worlds performance being 42nd just 7 months ago. Based on my performances over the 2 preceding events in the same venue with largely the same group of competitors where I had come 4th and 9th, I felt confident that it was possible going into the event. The pressure was definitely on however, in a way I'd never felt before. Adding to this was a highly uncertain weather forecast, not really what anyone wants, especially not at an event with so much riding on a specific outcome.

Putting these feelings aside was a challenge and I was happy with how I sailed the qualifying series which, usually over in 3 days after 6 races, stretched to 4 days due to the disagreeable nature of the weather. I did do a lot of uncharacteristic things, like capsizing 3 times on day 4, so was proud of the will and resilience I found to pull these races back to 5th,14th and 5th. Anyway, I entered finals in a position I was really pleased with, 14th very close on points all the way to top 5.

The first day of finals racing began early with a 10am launch, given that we hadn't even made it off the water the previous day until 730pm this was a pretty quick turnaround. Being astonished by this was the first way I let myself down on that day, the next was by being taken, quite literally, aback when met with the one wind condition I'd never seen before there. I handled this unknown terribly and rounded the top mark dead last in the first race of gold fleet, in the second race, I was 4th at the end of the first lap before picking up a yellow flag for rocking (technically a form of illegal propulsion when executed intentionally, but as this particular run was sailed in a dying breeze with an exceptionally choppy, confused sea state and I definitely had not been trying to do so, I was quite indignant). Once again not handling the upset well, I ending up finishing 20th. By the third race I was uncharacteristically shaky and for the third time didn't execute the basics and found myself battling close to last. In the final 3 legs of that race though, I finally felt a touch of fire return and started moving back forwards through the fleet to finish in the middle. It was an immensely underwhelming day, not just for me but for quite a lot of people so I only dropped to 20th and was exceptionally driven to claim back those points with another three races scheduled for the final day.

The weather on the final day wasn't remotely close to the forecast and the race one of the most bizarre I've seen in a while. The spread of the fleet less than 2 minutes in was phenomenal and things weren't looking spectacular for me in my middled position. Thankfully though, I'd found the spirit I'd momentarily lost the previous day, chopping back from 28th to finish 10th in what ended up an incredibly light air race. To my horror, that ended up being the last race of the series. Although obviously I can't be sure what would've happened if we did have all 3 races, the points were close and I was as certain as you can be in our sport that I would keep moving forward.

So for now, having to settle for 18th/106 is disappointing despite it being a PB by 24 places and knowing the opportunities the stray from normal processes may end up costing me is highly unpleasant. As I did not make the objective qualification set by the national authority in this particular event, I have to wait a week while a selection board deliberates before being informed of their decision.

It's been a long summer and to have it end so anticlimactically is an odd feeling but if nothing else I'm now, more than ever, motivated to be the best I possibly can be and to learn how to not allow anything to get in the way of that again. I know where things went wrong and, more importantly, how they went right and have developed a firmer resolve than ever before to get to the top.

There are a huge number of people deserving of thanks at this point but I'll keep this one brief until the next update. My endlessly patient coach, Ash Brunning, who has been there right from the very beginning when I didn't wear powerpads, spent a lot of time upside down and thought I could catch a goat, Danny Fuller and my Qld. and Australian teammates who have taught me so much on and off the water about being the best sailor and person I can be, the Royal Queensland Yacht Squadron for their continued support, without which I would've struggled to even compete this summer, the Australian Sailing Team and of course my parents who work tirelessly day in day out to ensure the bet possible opportunities for me!